Laughing boy (3/5 kids, pictured on the right, next to 5/5) was off school sick when he was about 9. Being not quite of this world (some people would say he is autistic with learning difficulties) I was a bit stuck when I needed some milk. He was comfy watching endless episodes of Barney, so I decided to risk a quick trip to the Co-op (50 metres away).

I read the riot act – don’t move, don’t stop watching the tv, do not get off the settee, do not leave the living room, DO NOT go near the front door. Do you hear me? NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!! He seemed totally on board. I went out of the house, shut the door, then realised no door key.  Hilarious.

I  spent about 15 mins in the front garden, waving through the window, jumping up and down, howling like a crazy woman.  Boy, he could be an obedient child.  Didn’t bat an eyelid as that purple dino did his funky stuff. Some lady walked past and asked if I was alright. This made it even funnier. Where to begin explaining?  Just as I began to think a bit more laterally (mmm…could possibly lig off to town shopping for a few hours?) he made his way to the window. With a lot of coaxing and (newly customised and colourful) sign language, he lifted the catch up and I prised open the window with my finger nails. Back in. No milk. Way too stressful to try again.

circa Spring 2004