The mystery of half a human poo

Ok, this is a bit of a random mystery. I was reading in the garden the other weekend, went to make a cup of tea and when I went back outside, half a human poo had appeared on the grass.  I panicked a bit and got rid of it before I took a photo, so I’ve recreated the scene using felt tip pens.

So, A is the poo.  B is where the clear break is. C is the chair I was sitting on. D is next door’s fence and E is evidence of flattened grass.

My first thought was that it fell from a plane. This can happen; (

Other people (credits below) suggested that our neighbours threw it over the fence because they hate us (not true), or one of us got caught short in the garden (not true). One mate emailed to check it wasn’t left over from us looking after her dogs a few weeks ago, another reassured me that cats can lay some crazy logs.  Anyway, it is a mystery. A mystery with layers to it; where did it come from? Where is the other half? Why did it appear then?

Thanks to Sue (for cat advice), Tracy (labrador owner), Juliet (link to support my plane theory), Richy Rich (random suggestions)

10 thoughts on “The mystery of half a human poo

  1. I particularly like the multi-tone grass in the diagram. Details like that are important. I once won a Gordon the Gopher puppet in a Pizza Hut colouring competition because I used multi-tone shading.

    Great things may come to you too.

  2. I hope so :))))
    Unfort my sis has got this take on the whole episode;
    “Do you remember our mate Hugo? He was sitting on his patio with his mum once & someone lobbed a turd over the fence onto his patio….it happens! (or should that be shit happens ha ha ha)”

  3. I love you diagram, Sara. But have you actually compared your evidence (or even the felt pen picture of it) to your allegedly comparable evidence of aircrafted human waste? There is a considerable and distinct difference there so I would say you need to discard that theory (give it a rest mate). I would side on the animal/disturbed neighbour lines of thinking.

    • Mmm.. you’re maybe thinking too narrowly/negatively.. I’m not thinking about airline waste, but airplane waste.. or come to think of it – glider or one of those motorised air things waste? Something that didn’t freeze…

  4. Sara, what still fascinates me about this this story – without in any sense wishing to suggest that it is an entirely fascinating tale, worthy of further exploration – is: What makes you say ‘half’ a human poo? How does one differentiate between ‘half’ a poo and a ‘small poo’ ???

  5. But a clean break doesn’t necessarily mean half, right? Could be a third (best said with an Irish accent for maximum comedy effect).

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