A freshly hatched post for once.  Laughing boy had a mobile EEG unit fitted this morning. The neuro person, Noreen, was very chilled as she carefully superglued the electrodes to his scalp. Once LB had gone through his usual questions – “What’s your name?”, “Where were you born?” “How old are you?” “Have you got a boyfriend?” “How old is he?” “What does he do?” – he went back to chuntering about other stuff. I realised he was getting naffed off with the lengthy process when he started going on about asylums, straitjackets and an evil attendant called Noreen.

“Now, if any fall off, ring the clinic…”, Noreen started to say to me.

“More like the Metropolitan Police”, muttered LB.

“Right,” she continued, brightly, “only two more to fit on your forehead”…

“GUARDS!!” he roared.

Update: 32 hours later all the electrodes are still attached. “Hey, you’ve done brilliantly”, I said, “not long now to get em all removed”.  “If that Noreen comes near me again, I’m calling the police”, replied LB.

Credits: Thanks to Noreen (pseudonym) who did a great job.