Phewwy. I had a right old dose of hot face at work the other day. It was so bad I nearly went home SICK. Yep, sick from hot face.  Crazy really. What happened was, I woke up, peeked out the window, saw the grey and rain and jumped from Summer to Winter in my mind.  This meant I put on a thick woolly jumper and a scraggy old thermal top.

Two hours later, in a meeting, I got hotter and hotter and hotter.  It was awful.

“Take your jumper off!”, said my concerned work mateys.

“I can’t..” I heaved, “cos I got a scraggy old thermal top on underneath that’s seen better centuries”.

I moved around the enormous, open plan office to try and find a cooler place but no, my face kept throbbing and the heat kept rising. Of course every time someone glanced at me, I temporarily went to extreme redness. Just when I was about to give up and go home, I remembered we now worked in the town centre and there could be a solution on the doorstep. I rushed up to Debenham’s where there was a massive sale on. I managed to find a red and white crinolene top (in Debenham’s Collection, sob) reduced to £2.50. Bizarre problem solved.

The next day, young pup Jo, at work, said she’d also had hot face. ‘Thank fuck for that’, I thought, ‘maybe it ain’t early endopause’.

“I’m pretty sure it was the dry shampoo I used”, she said.