I spoke to someone from Cruse on the phone the other day, exploring options for counselling. I ain’t optimistic that it will help, but it’s on my list of potential strategies to ease the pain. Eh? What else is on the list? Erm, not an awful lot really. Time and wine basically. The former relentless and the latter not a good model for life in the long term.
Anyway, the Cruse woman was horrified by what had happened. Audibly horrified. Everyone has been. But her response, given that she works for a grief gig, got me thinking about what could be worse. Doing that ordering/othering thing we all do at some point or another. Measuring our own experiences against those who seem to have worse experiences to try and gain some sense of something. I decided that having a child taken by someone, treated violently and eventually killed was worse. Definitely worse.
This morning I thought about what had happened to LB. The extended restraints, the drugging, and the length of time he spent in the unit. In the ‘care’ of the state, rather than at the hands of a random individual.
It doesn’t get much worse.
Have you looked into Winston’s Wish? We had a tragedy, similar/different – grief shock bubble possible very similar; your writings are all familiar to me. They helped both my daughter and granddaughter. Take care, Gill
Thanks Gill, I’ve googled them and it looks like a good organisation.
Winstons Wish is a great charity and their online Starscape is a wonderful idea!I have used this many times!
I’m sure you’re going to feel like crap for a long time. If there’s anything that helps you get through the day, just do it.
D’you know what Sara, at least he is safe now. No one and nothing can get to him and he is at PEACE. I really do believe that. Thank god he always had you in his life, X
The only way I cope is knowing my lovely son loved and was loved for his entire life! How wonderful is that! Love and strength Sara! xx
I’ve just heard about an asd child at my local playscheme being held upside down by the ankles, with the threat of cutting his feet off if he didn’t change his behaviour. Sadly I think there are many more lb’s out there just waiting to happen. I hope your legal battle helps you get some sense of accountability and helps pave the way for a safer future for others.
Devastatingly terrible though it is for any person to be taken against their will, subjected to violence of any sort, is the most heinous and appalling crime…but that is what is is ….a crime…random attacks do happen and as parents we do all we can to keep our children safe…what happen to your Son LB is worse….simply because he was in a place of care and trust, and his life was taken away through incompetence and lack of care.. I know what I think is worse…my heart breaks for you
No. It doesn’t get any worse. The injustice – the utterly irremediable injustice – of maltreatment leading to a premature and wholly avoidable death, is exactly the same; irrespective of whoever or whatever is responsible.