The things we now think about and do. That we never thought about before. Have to say, I was not a cemetery type woman. The handful of funerals I’d been to were crematorium jobs. Fleeting, discrete events. Very sad, very strange, slightly awkward, out of place and unanchored. That’s all changed.
Got a grave to tend now. A woodland one so minimum work really. We had a few months of watering. And some autumn planting for a spring display of wildflowers, organised by my mum and dad. Now it’s all about fallen leaves and changing colours.
The big news in cemetery world (I suspect it’s a fairly low key news space generally) is LB has a tree. The cemetery staff planted it so carefully we wondered if it had been there all along. We’d just not noticed it. They also carefully replaced his collection of lorries,buses and Eddie Stobart memorabilia around it. You’re not really supposed to have stuff in this section of the cemetery but I think the cemetery staff pretend not to notice. He was only 18.
LB is in good company. J.R. Tolkien is buried a hundred metres away, drawing a steady set of visitors from around the world. Co-founder of Healthtalkonline, Ann McPherson is close by. And local author, and husband of a friend/colleague, Tim Griggs, sadly joined LB under the trees only a few weeks ago.
Odd, but weirdly comforting, space.
I love going to my family graves – they are all next to each other and this may sound strange I get a comfort – the mainman calls his grandparents grave ”Granddad’s house” so when we go to Granddads House – we clean the stone – fresh flowers – clear the leaves [that’s the Main-mans job] in the summer we will cut the grass and take drinks and sandwiches. The cemetery is a community – meeting people – exchanging stories….. and when it’s time to go home the mainman always says bye bye Gaga and kisses the flowers……… [and of course there is the wild life]
So the next time you go to LBs ‘House’ say me and the main-man send our love…..xx
We often go to Sam’s grave. Before he died, we had no plans (for Sam or any of us) but I’d always thought of cremation as the likely way to go.. However, (like having a child with disabilities) plans, ideas and reality rarely collide. We went for a burial and have no regrets. Sam lies in a lovely spot where the sun shines most of the day. It’s on an avenue of Poplars opposite a part of the grounds that’s a ‘wildlife’ haven. The lady we met a couple of times beforehand gave us lots of time and really cared about what is a very important decision in the midst of the awful days following Sam’s sudden death.
I have always like walking through graveyards. So peaceful, interesting and underlying stories of so many.
Living so far from family and home, we three are the only visitors. Living as a partially ‘hidden’ family through circumstances for 18 years, very few were close to Sam. However, those who knew him were extra special people and remember him and of course, we feel him in our hearts every day.
there is a tradition, i think it is jewish where you take a pebble or small stone you picked up from where ever you have been as it symbolises that the person is in your thoughts where ever you travel. I think it is a very lovely tradition.
Thinking of you x