Those bloody tears won’t stop today. The old tap effect is back with a vengeance. A year ago today we asked to get LB admitted to a small, specialist hospital a couple of miles from home for “assessment and treatment”.
He never came home.
Driving him to the unit was so sudden, so extreme, I’m not sure he even shut his laptop before we left home. Or said goodbye to Chunky Stan. It was a short term measure. A few weeks at the most…
It’s almost impossible to breath. The intense pain, the what ifs and the what.the.fuck? He wasn’t even ill. How the hell could he die? It’s completely incomprehensible*.
The #107day campaign is a good distraction. It’s remarkable to see so many people pitching in and supporting the campaign. Truly remarkable. And yesterday was a bit brighter. I spent the afternoon at Sting Radio on a show dedicated to a celebration of LB’s life. We chose five of LB’s fave songs at the weekend. The DJs asked questions about LB among news features, top 10 love songs and rock songs and a debate about whether independence for learning disabled people has improved. The genuine welcome, warmth, empathy, outrage and complete understanding the DJ dudes demonstrated yesterday was a tonic.
1. Devine Comedy National Express
2. Gorillaz Feel good, inc.
3. Beatles Here comes the sun
4. Dexy’s Midnight Runners Geno
5. Keane Bedshaped
Thanks guys. You rock and I had a ball.
* We found out from the exceptional Saba Salman tonight that three staff are suspended. Sloven and NHS England were unable to tell us this.
I’m doing what I told you not to – going online when I should be sleeping. But then I’m a deeply flawed person, just like all of us. I wanted to say something profound & helpful, but my battery is running out & if I get up to plug it in I will wake up Grumpy Grandad. So will just say this. You couldn’t possibly have known what would happen. You took that journey in good faith. There was no call for special goodbyes. You’re allowed to cry.
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