Oh boy. Where to begin with this one.  Just when I thought things were ticking along unblogfully for once, I went and did something beyond madness today.

What.the.hell.was.I.thinking?

I’ve got no idea. Blogging this is a technique to distract me from the horror on my head right now*. I’m also hoping that a swarm of people will come forward saying “I DID THAT TOO!!!”

So. I made a random appointment to have my hairhead** cut today, at a random hairdresser. Beyond fed up with having this muddy brown hair on top, grey hair underneath, situ over and over and over again. Plus I’ve got some work gigs coming up and thought I probably need a more structured hairhead than I had this morning.

“Can you cut it really short so I can see what I look like with grey hair?” I asked Emmanuel (yep, really).

“Oh no, zeez short air will not look funkeee,” he replied. “I leave air on top to sweep over. Movement. Movement.”

“Ok,” I said.

So, perfectly funky haircut thirty minutes later, but with grey/white at sides and brown on top.

It was time to take control of my hair, once and for all. After years of vile hair dyeing, stinkiness and dirty baths. Enough was enough.  I went to Boots and spent ages reading the info of different hair/colour related products. One jumped out at me; a creme pre-lightener. Good for lightening blonde hair OR removing colour from existing hair ready to re-colour with a different shade. I bought that together with a light brown hair dye. The aim; to slowly reduce the need to dye, in favour of a whitish hair colour.

Two hours later I was yowling in front of the bathroom mirror. Tom came back from a mate’s and yelped. “Whoa! What’s happened to your hair?” Then, much worse; “Can I touch IT?”

Richy tried to say that it was “reeaaallllly nice” but couldn’t quite pull off the sincerity smarts. LB just looked up from youtube and said “Your hair’s ruined, Mum”.

I was orange on top and brightest white at the sides.  Plus some dark brown tufts round the back that I’d missed altogether. Richy slapped on more stuff to try and reduce the brown bits so there was some consistency. I ended up looking like Basil Brush sitting on a snowman.

“Whaddamygonnado?” I howled.

“Er, well you could try the light brown on top or sleep on it”, Richy said helpfully, before sloping off to the pub.  Fortunately, I googled ‘hair lightener’ to learn on wiki that dyeing hair on top of ‘lightening’ it can lead to greenish tones.

I got some sensible advice from Ulla; “Swallow pride, make emergency appointment at hairdressers (and take a photo)” and hysterics from my sis and bro-in- law.

So. I’ve laughed and laughed. Here’s the pic (which doesn’t show the ‘white goods’ undercoating that really makes the overall effect stand out – thanks Jenny, I’ll definitely be noticed) and I’ll be phoning round hairdressers’ first thing in the morning.

*Could also be an indication of Munchausen by bloggski?

**Since Tom asked me (years ago) while I had a pile of hair on my head, I’ve always thought of my hairhead rather than hairstyle.

Update: £105 and 2 hours later I am orange no longer: