I’m a bit worried as I feel as though my heart is locked away in a small box. Like a tiny one of those old packing chests they used to use in house moves. I’m crying but the tears ain’t reaching anymore. They feel meaningless.
It started at the funeral place yesterday afternoon. The room overlooked the London Road. While we discussed coffins, in a strangely quiet, cream coloured haven of sorts, and I watched the number 8, 9, 400, U1, 280, X90 and Oxford Tube buses drive past.
mydaftlife 
I know that “locked away”-feeling from the time after my friend’s death (years ago). But it didn’t last forever. I think sorrow and grief has different phases, back and forth movement, depending on the situation and individual and environment. Your heart is wise, it protects you by locking itself in a small box when it feels that it’s the right way to do. It will come out again, sooner or later.
Once again Sara love and solidarity to you & yours – *they* will be scurrying around protecting themselves and getting their story right…….they will say ”we have learnt from this” oh wish I had a penny for every time I’ve heard that. and another is ….. yes we know what happened ”but we have to put it on context”
Carve his name with Pride – tell the world what has happened to LB………….
I don’t know you Sara – but my support & solidarity is yours & your families…..
xxxxx
I can only echo comments of Joedd…”carve his name with pride ” JB was far too important to be lost in stigma! #Loud & Proud Sara! Thank you! xxx
Grief is so hard in whatever form it comes,and will take you places you never knew existed ,take it when it comes it usually hits you like a ton of bricks but you will see the light again someday and your memories of LB always be yours.It just seems so senseless and heartbreaking that any parent should ever have through something like this. You have been,a true champion for LB & parents like myself (who has a daughter in care )and for the rights, needs and best interests of young people with learning disabilities and special needs and for trying the change this awful system.LB not never be forgotten and I know that this boy will leave a legacy that will last forever because YOU are his BRILLIANT Mom .Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family to you give strength to you and your family for the tough days,weeks months ahead.
You have been on my minds all week and I simply can’t imagine your pain and sadness .
My heart is still bleeding for you and your family……..I wish you peace, love and truth! xxxx