We’re a reasonable bunch in the Justice shed. [Yes, really]. And we pride ourselves on remaining reflective about and engaged with the constant shite we’ve experienced over the past 2.5 years. We’ve absorbed the slurs, the smears, the deceit, the obstructions, the bullying and the wilful refusal by anyone involved to take responsibility for (or even care about) LB’s death and the hundreds of other deaths that happened under Sloven’s watch.

The extent of Sloven failings get worse on a weekly basis. We’ve now seen first hand the utter incompetence of the CEO and Board. A spectacle that continues to make me feel queasy when I think about it. We know that NHS England, the CQC, Monitor, the Department of Health, Oxfordshire County Council and Clinical Commissioning Group lack the guts (individually and as organisations) or interest to do anything substantive. There is no Monitor Improvement Director. We know Mencrap is about as far removed being the ‘voice of learning disability’ as is humanly possible.

We can remember the numerous organisations that rushed to sign up to the… er… [scratches head] Winterbourne Con… Winterbourne Con? Con something. And can only guess at the money the Dept of Health flushed away on this ill thought out and useless endeavour. Followed by other incarnations. And croissants. A resounding fail. Leaving countless people suffering. And dying.

The ‘official’ response to publication of the Mazars review revealed everything we need to know. Certain people simply don’t count. Deaths schmeaths. Transforming care plans in tatters and more news emerging this week of re-institutionalisation by the back door.

So. To stop all this tedious and repetitive talk, wasted resources, increasing breakfast waistlines and empty dialogue with grassroot movements, here’s the first draft of an agreement for Trusts, CCGs, local authorities and the various regulatory organisations, Dept of Health to sign. [Lifted from a cleaning contract template..]

This agreement is made between _________________, [NHS Trust, CCG, local authority, Monitor, CQC, NHS England, Department of health… (hereafter known collectively as the Public Sector) and __________ (hereafter known as the public).

The Public Sector agrees to the following:

1. An acceptance that learning disabled people will die early and their deaths do not warrant investigation unless the circumstances are extraordinary. [There are currently no examples of extraordinary. Please contact the Public Sector for updates on Never Ever Ever Events.]

2. An acceptance that learning disabled people shall continue to be ‘placed’ in ‘living arrangements’ typically at the whim of local authorities/commissioning groups.

3.  An acceptance and agreement that these living arrangements should be dictated by budget and efficiency. [The bigger the better the guiding principle here.]

4.The Public Sector shall herewith stop pretending to support and ‘care’ about learning disabled adults.

5. Services to be performed by the Public Sector are to be lowest quality at lowest cost possible. These will typically not include any of the following: going out, encouraging community participation, fun, ambition, delight, encouraging and supporting employment, relationships or a proper home, engagement with families, effective healthcare or investigation in the instance of premature death.

The Public agrees to the following:

6. Sucking up their unrealistic expectations and stop banging on about inadequate, unsafe and poorly funded non care.

7. Either party may terminate this agreement with written notice to the other party.

In witness to their agreement to these terms, the Public Sector and Public affix their signatures below:

_____________________________________

Public Sector signature, date

_________________________________

Public Signature, date

 

Any additions or amendments to the above welcome. Would be good to get this sorted in time for our meeting with Jeremy Hunt on 3 Feb. He could be the first signatory.