“….pushed me off the computer. He doesn’t get enough exercise. No he doesn’t. He’s not healthy. He goes for me all the time. And for me it’s horrible. It’s very, very hard for me…”
“Eh, what you talking about LB?”
“Simon, Mum. He got annoyed with me Mum. He pushed me off the computer Mum.”
“Aww. That’s not very nice. What happened? Did he get told off?”
“Yes Mum. He got put in time out Mum.”
“That’s OK then…”
“Because he wants to go on it all the time Mum. All the time, checking the football scores Mum. The football scores Mum. I can’t let him do that, can I Mum?”
“Mmm… Well you could take it in turns to use the computer.”
“He pushed me off it Mum.”
“Did it hurt?”
“Maaaaay… beeee…. it hurt Mum. AND HE GETS ON MY NERVES! I might get my legal team if he hurts me Mum.”
“I thought he’d left school a while ago?”
“He has Mum. He’s at college now Mum.”
“So when did all this happen?”
“Dunno Mum.”