Last Christmas I gave you my heart…
“And the man was sectioned. He was ….”
“Your mum was a big Wham fan, Tom.”
“WHAT? No I wasn’t!”
“… a PAEDOPHILE.”
“Shhh LB and eat your porridge. I was not a Wham fan.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
“Stop making it up. So irritating.”
“Me irritating? Living with you is…”
“Dad, I’ve lived with Mum for 12 years now and it’s been pretty good.”
“Aww..thanks Tom. How many years have you lived with me, LB?”
“Dunno, Mum.”
“Think about it LB. How old are you?”
“Seventeen, Mum.”
“So how many years have you lived with me?”
“Dunno, Mum.”
“If you are seventeen years old, how many years have you lived with me?”
“Three, Mum.”