It turns out that now OCC have published this report without our knowledge, and shared it with at least one external organisation, I’m expected to go through all 21 pages and highlight the factual inaccuracies contained within it. [Warning: the report apparently took 8 months to publish because the new Deputy Director of Social Care wanted it to be as robust as possible and added quality assurance. Hard hat time for those who need services in Oxon.]
Can you imagine wading through old emails from a time when your son was still alive [he died?] to correct a report you didn’t know was being written? In your own time? Serious brain melt. How much was matey boy paid to write this rubbish I wonder.
Deep breath.
Here’s just one example around respite. (I don’t think OCC can seriously expect me to keep this confidential in the circumstances). The report is so biased it’s almost comedic. Definitive statements about my ‘failings’ (without evidence) throughout but light touch on OCC on any dodgy ground. The ‘it appears from the records’ consistently falls on the side of the council with no consideration the records might be a little bit partial.
Not quite what happened. As the email exchange below demonstrates. I waited in all day for the three of them to turn up. The care manager eventually called to say she wouldn’t be able to come round after all. She’d run out of time. Bit of a shocker really in the circumstances. During that call she described the respite centre as a building with a snooker table and made it a completely unappealing option.
More mysterious reporting about respite here:
In contrast, from my blog, 18 March 2013:
And from March 19th…
How can the records possibly show “I did not take up the offer”? It’s just made up rubbish leading to one of the cracking conclusions:
Ah. It was all my fault. Trial by a ridiculous, crap and biased report. I’ll leave you with one more nonsensical snippet while I crawl off and wonder what the hell is going on.
Postscript: It would not be possible to rebut a lot of this stuff without having documented the experience on the pages of this blog. So important to keep detailed notes. And so blinking wrong.
mydaftlife 
Why are they calling you flakey. You didnt drown anyone in the bathtub.
Their actions are despicable, cowardly, underhanded, and frankly fill me with fear for everyone in care, as they have no accountability.
Why cant they just admit fault, instead of pointing blame at everyone but themselves. Im sickened by the treatment that parents like you are receiving. Its so wrong. Keep fighting.
Ok . So the records are not a correct report of your actions at the time, and the content of the calls has not been recorded..I have no doubt that a call from you stating that you were desperate and asking for respite ,describing where you had got with the leads suggested was just noted as “SR called. Use of DP suggested, she will investigate” or some such.
This needs correction. It is not true! You did NOT refuse respite and demand to line everything up yourself with DP. And your blogs, praise be confirm this very specifically .
I am so sorry you have had to read that sanctimonious tosh about you refusing respite and how fab it would have been had you just taken up the respite so eagerly offered you blah, blah.
Our DCT will do anything, anything ,but offer respite.The have a well tried series of stalling and deflecting strategies:
1.Back onto the parent :
Call in distress, get offered parenting classes(regardless of any assessment of your actual parenting or any evidence that parenting style would solve the difficulties), or stress management /counselling via GP.
2. Sell thewonders of DP.:
Accepting DP is pushed and pushed, and once you have it the funds are presented as a pot of gold which can buy wonders. It is for you to find hire arrange etc these wonders.
3.Present respite as very booked up(guilt inducing) terrible(you wouldn’t want to send your kid there anyway). Failing all that say you’ll look into what is possible and then vanish.
It is the Monty Python Cheese shop. I once FOIed our records and from reading them you would think the DCT had been beating the door down with offers of respite
After every tragedy, I have noticed services fall over themselves to express vague regret and say that the family involved were offers so much help but alas didn’t take it up.
Don’t let them get away with it if you can stand the pain and irritation of dealing with these clowns.
Having walked that path with you in the days before Connor was admitted, I cannot believe what they have reported i recall the desperation level trying to get someone to help you, clearly distraught, in crisis you were offered contact appointment from Saxon way in 17 days, and sent money from DP in crisis to buy in support, I remember you calling the list of services only to be told they would no take a referral directly from you.
So appaulling then and more so now!
So what this is saying is if you had been a better mother and done as you were supposedly told, LB wouldn’t have had to go into the unit and so his death could have been avoided that way?
Have they missed the point?
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