“Mum. I’ve got a dodgy stomach Mum.”
“You’re going to school LB.”
“Dodgy stomach Mum.”
“School LB.”
“I don’t like you Mum.”
“Eh? How can you say that? I grew you.”
“No you didn’t Mum.”
“Where did you come from then.”
[points to the dishwasher] “There Mum.”
“I AM NOT DOING THE DISHWASHER AGAIN. EVER. EVER! IT’S A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY..AND.. AND IT MAKES BOSSY KIDS’ LIVES MISERY..”
“Eh, what’s that LB?”
“Nothing Mum.”
“What are you shouting about?”
“Nothing Mum.”
“It didn’t sound like nothing.”
“Mum?”
“Yes?”
“Mum, what’s slavery Mum?”
“Where people are held against their will and forced to work for the people who hold them.”
“Is slavery a criminal offence Mum?”
“Yes. Why?”
“No reason Mum.”
“Er Mum! Can you come here? LB won’t help do the dishwasher. He says he’s going to sue it.”
“I.AM.NOT.DOING.THE.DISHWASHER. I HATE DOING THE DISHWASHER. I AM CALLING MY LAWYER. I’M CALLING MY LAWYER RIGHT NOW!!”
“Get on with it, LB. Stop behaving like this.”
“Mum, I DONT want to do it, Mum. I NEED my downtime. I HATE doing the dishwasher. I’m not doing it ANYMORE!”
“You’ve got to do it. Don’t be silly.”
“Why, Mum? Why do I have to do it, Mum?”
“Because it’s your job. You and Tom empty the dishwasher. It’s good for you to help out. ”
“Why is it good for me, Mum?”
“Because it’s good to do jobs. And help out in the house.”
“I disagree Mum.”
“Eh?! Wha?”
“I disagree Mum. I need my downtime, Mum.”
“Oh. Really? Well what about if I decide I need downtime and stop working?”
“You get made redundant Mum.”
“And what do we live on then? If I haven’t got a job?”
“Benefits, Mum.”
mydaftlife 