LB and Stan

Well this is a biggy. And will make all you dog lovers feel warm and fluffy.  Stan hasn’t featured much in this blog so far (though his paws play a starring role).  Stan is the treasured member of our family.  He is a little bit of a chunky, doting, loyal Jack Russell who likes nothing more than hanging out with us.

After a shaky start – he was Richy’s 40th birthday pressie without us realising how much Richy did not like JR dogs, but lets not dwell on that – he has become a central character. Everyone loves Stan.  Not least, LB.

LB has an unusual relationship with Stan. Though maybe typical for dudes like LB.  LB will confide in Stan, discuss his day with Stan and seek Stan out more than anyone else. If we ask LB about his day at school, or elsewhere, he will disclose nothing. If we say that “Stan wants to know…..”, LB settles down with him and retells his day in detail. Using the voice he always uses when interacting with Stan.  LB’s ‘Stan’s voice’ is a bit of a mystery given how good he is generally at impersonating people. It’s a sort of high pitched, slightly sing song voice, that has stayed the same for many years.

LB loves Stan without question. Stan, on his part, is remarkably tolerant of  LB. Patiently listening to his chatter, sitting with him when he plays with his football guys (with his carefully arranged Playmobile crowd), putting up with some awkward handling.  Funnily enough, LB doesn’t engage with Bess at all. He has got a ‘Bess voice’ when pushed (much squeakier and higher) but he has no real engagement with her. He is a one dog dude.

There are some (schmulzy) books written about how autistic kids’ lives have been transformed through their relationships with their pet dog.  I don’t subscribe to a rescue/cure discourse at all, but there is definitely something remarkable about LB’s relationship with Stan, and the window it offers us into his life.

His literal (intolerant?) side remains constant though. His two most consistent Stan related questions are;

“Mum, is Stan fat, Mum?”
“Has Stan got a small head, Mum?”

I’m ain’t saying anything.

(More) tales of the unexpected

Wow. I am reeling. Seriously in shock.

We’ve seen LB onto his school bus (which is now a car) for years and years and years. I’ve lost any inhibitions about being seen in public (and we live on a very public street) in pyjamas, daggy dressing gowns, frightwig hairhead as I’ve waved him off. And he’s never once waved back.

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“Get off the bus, Missus”

“Hi, return to the railway station, please.”
“That’s £2.90”
….

….

“Hey Missus!  Missus! Missus! At the back of the bus!”
“Wha? Me? Sorry?”
“You’ve got to get off the bus!”
“Sorry?”
“You’ve got to get off the bus. I forgot I don’t go to the railway station.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I only go this far and then head back. But don’t worry, I haven’t over-charged you or anything. It costs £2.90 to get this far anyway.”
“Oh, OK.”
“Have a nice day.”
“Yes, you too.”

The big ‘got’ question

Oh dear. I suspect this is where my whimsical, cheerful little blog may get a teensy bit controversial (again).  I’ll try and find a nice, fluffy photo for the end to soothe any tensions raised. So the question is; can you ask a disabled person “What have you got?” Someone I know was asked this question the other day.  “EEEEK” “Shit! That’s outrageous!” “WTF??????” Were the sort of responses from other people when they heard (with a bit of swear embellishment). The question asker was an adult.

I’ve been thinking about this and am a bit undecided.  Well I sort of do know what I think, but I know what I think flies in the face of a lot of thinking, conceptualising and theorising about disability.

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Different spaces

I got thinking about space today, after another bizarre lift journey where I stood next to a random stranger for two floors up to the office and then left that space without saying a word.

LB has made me think about spaces differently.  He uses space in a way that is out of the ordinary. He uses spaces that other people don’t use. I remember one time when he was a toddler, he disappeared in his bedroom.  I had a few heart-stopping minutes before finding him fast asleep on the second shelf of a Billy bookshelf.

Later, when he started school, he’d come home and climb in the swing bin if it was empty. He’d want the lid on and would stay, tucked up, till tea time.  We sort of got used to it though I sometimes worried that someone would turn up unexpectedly and wonder what the fuck was going on. Continue reading

The nutter on the bus

Several years ago I travelled by coach to see Rosie sing with her school (and hundreds of other schools) at the Royal Festival Hall in London.  We were dropped off a couple of hours before the concert started so I went for a walk round Covent Garden. Bizarrely, I bumped into someone who I’d gone on a random truck trip with across Africa ten years before (long story, inspired by watching Tracy Chapman, on the TV, singing at the Nelson Mandela birthday concert). Continue reading