Tag Archives: laughing boy

The foyer

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I randomly decided to pick LB up an hour and a half early from after school club yesterday. And found him sitting patiently on a chair in the foyer. Alone.

“WHADDAYADOINGSITTINGHERE LB???“
“Waiting Mum.”
“Waiting?!! WHY AREN”T YOU IN KIDS CLUB?”
“Dunno Mum.”
“What are you waiting for?”
“You Mum.”

I rang the kids club staff on the internal phone (you have to ring and speak to staff).

“Er, I have LB here. In the foyer on his own.”
“Ah, is he there? We’ll come down and get him.”
“GET HIM? I’ve got him! What’s he doing in the foyer on his own?!!!”
“We’ve been waiting for him to come from football. Usually he’s brought up to the hall after football by school staff…”

After this exchange on the phone (???) we left and the service provider running the kids club texted me disclaiming any responsibility ending with “..we are not at fault”. It was the school’s responsibility. Lovely.

This morning, the school liaison officer (SLO) rang, hugely apologetic. It will never happen again. LB had told a staff member that he wasn’t going to kids club that afternoon, I was picking him up. He had to wait in the foyer. Whoa. Cheeky monkey or what? (He doesn’t  like after school club and was pretty fixated on getting Eddie Stobart Series 3 in the post).

Or, as the SLO suggested, was the dude a bit psychic?

I asked LB what he thought about what had happened, at bedtime last night.

“I hate the foyer Mum.”

World of Adventure

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Yesterday we had a day out at Chessington. We’ve had mixed experiences of days out at various places in the past, so the bar is set fairly low. Chessington scored high early on, for us, yesterday with their sensible arrangements for families with disabled children.

Once you’ve provided paper proof that your child is disabled (yes really) alongside the child, you get given a card which allows you to go to the exit of each ride. A staff member lets you straight on the ride after writing down what time you can next use the card for a big ride (adding the equivalent of the queue time you’ve jumped).

This works well as you don’t have to walk past the glares and stares of the main queue, who have you pegged as liggers as your child “don’t look disabled”, and the time delay between being able to access big rides is fair enough. A good example of reasonable adjustment really, removing the difficult bit (queuing) for dudes like LB.

We started with the Rattlesnake. My first ever roller coaster. Tom and Rich in front, waving their arms in the air. Me and LB behind. I kept my eyes scrunched shut, gripping the handlebars and quietly whimpering.  LB sat quiet, composed and distant, seemingly oblivious to height, speed, excitement or terror.

“Fuck that,” he said to himself when we got off 90 seconds later.

Weekend News

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LB is back! He marched in with his PGL certificate, a bin bag of filthy clothes, shouted “HELLO MUM” and disappeared to find the laptop to go on youtube.  Any details of his five day trip will have to be teased out with Chunky Stan’s help a bit later. Just before he got back, I was reading through his school news book. Hilarious really. So similar to my diary entries in my teens with exactly the same focus. 

This entry made me chuckle. Undated it details food (banana cake), TV (Passport Control, Traffic Cops, Britain’s Got Talent, Somewhere over the Rainbow) and daily mechanics (bath, bed, sleep). He trumped my early efforts with a finishing sentence “..and I went to sleep and that’s it basically.”

A succession of sick notes

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Dear Iain Duncan Smith,

I’m writing about ESA and my seventeen year old son, LB. I know the process and procedures around claiming ESA are framed by a ‘scrounger’ rhetoric. Underpinned by the constant questioning of the integrity of those who are unable to work. I also know this is a spurious position; under-claims are greater than over-claims or fraud. We have so far had to provide two sick notes over six months (well three really because we had to get one to cover the 3 month backdated period). I think then an ‘indefinite’ sick note will do. I have tried hard to understand why this is necessary. What is underpinning the blanket need for a succession of sick notes? Is it simply a tool of attrition? The ‘scroungers’ will be worn down by having to return to their GP three times? GPs, in turn, will surveil their patients more closely for signs of cheating or trickery? I don’t know.

I didn’t want to get a sick note for LB. I didn’t want to because he isn’t sick. I didn’t want to because we have a ton of official paperwork highlighting and poring over his ‘deficits’ in micro detail from a gaggle of professionals; geneticists, ed psychs, paediatricians, teachers, social workers, psychiatrists…the list is endless.

I didn’t want to because it made me feel sad.

I found it more upsetting when I found out, through the allowance stopping as soon as it started, that I needed to go back for a second note. And then, again, after the reinstated allowance stopped, a third note. Perhaps if you had made it clear that three notes would be needed at the start, it would have been easier. But then I suspect my GP would have written the three on the spot, negating the need to return to the surgery (and take up his time). You may have been trying to close that loophole by deliberately making the process opaque.

Oh. I should probably add that I went to the surgery. Not LB. His GP doesn’t need to see him to know that he has learning difficulties. I wasn’t going to put him through the experience of being given a ‘sick note’ by the GP. He wouldn’t really understand that and he can get anxious going to the doctors. So it’s all a charade really. With a touch of farce.

I’m writing really to ask if you could try to get over your fixation with (fictitious) ‘scroungers’ and, instead, gain some understanding of how the process is experienced by disabled people, or their carers. And maybe shift the money invested into such a clunky, laborious and inefficient system into supported employment programmes that actually work in practice. LB wants to work. He is hoping to become an assistant caretaker.

Yours sincerely,

Sarasiobhan

 

Signed off sick

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Part 3 of the ESA drama kicked off this morning. (Earlier episodes can be found here and here.) As usual, the vile brown DWP envelope arrived on a Saturday when the helpline is shut.

A summary of the story so far;

I accidentally discovered LB was entitled to Education and Support Allowance (ESA), got a sick note (A) from the GP. He wrote ‘indefinite’ for the length of the illness. A second sick note was requested (B) to backdate the first sick note by 3 months. A 20 page questionnaire needed to be completed for some shitbag company called Atos. JobCentrePlus only keyed in the details on B (Nov 11 – Feb 12) and suspended his allowance almost as soon as it was paid.

At this point, I couldn’t disentangle what was incompetence from what is a cynical and deliberately obstructive process, designed to obscure people’s entitlements and make it as complicated as possible to claim. And as for ‘sick notes’? Anyway, it was sorted. I thought.

Until today’s letter stated;

I am writing to tell you that the medical certificate you sent us, which covers the period from 17/2/12 to 10/5/12 is about to run out. Please send us another medical certificate by 11th May if you are still sick and cannot work.

Whaaaa???? You gotta be kidding me?????

After some raging about JCP incompetence and vile, cynical obstructive systems, I googled ‘medical certificates and ESA’. On a handy forum, rightsnet, the relevant regulations were highlighted, stating that two three-month sick notes need to be produced by the GP before an indefinite one can be accepted. Ah. So now I know.

But what do I know? What’s the basis for these time regulations? Why so many hoops? And how much does it cost to administer such a clunky, overly-bureaucratic and obstructive process? A process that is not fit for purpose for learning disabled people.

I don’t want to be part of a society in which dudes like LB are issued with ‘sick notes’ to exempt them from the workplace. He is not sick. He could thrive in a particular environment in which his strengths and abilities were encouraged, developed and valued. Instead his future, his potential and possibilities are constrained before he’s even finished school. By a system in which he’s already signed off sick. Indefinitely.

Zombie night

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Richy went to watch zombie films this evening.

LB combed his hair. He combed his hair all day because he thinks it’s got bits in it.

Tom watched the end of Harry Potter.

Me? I read some Eva Kittay stuff.

And Stan and Bess waited. And watched.

Checking the football scores

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“….pushed me off the computer. He doesn’t get enough exercise. No he doesn’t. He’s not healthy. He goes for me all the time. And for me it’s horrible. It’s very, very hard for me…”
“Eh, what you talking about LB?”
“Simon, Mum. He got annoyed with me Mum. He pushed me off the computer Mum.”
“Aww. That’s not very nice. What happened? Did he get told off?”
“Yes Mum. He got put in time out Mum.”
“That’s OK then…”
“Because he wants to go on it all the time Mum. All the time, checking the football scores Mum. The football scores Mum. I can’t let him do that, can I Mum?”
“Mmm… Well you could take it in turns to use the computer.”
“He pushed me off it Mum.”
“Did it hurt?”
“Maaaaay… beeee…. it hurt Mum. AND HE GETS ON MY NERVES! I might get my legal team if he hurts me Mum.”
“I thought he’d left school a while ago?”
“He has Mum. He’s at college now Mum.”
“So when did all this happen?”
“Dunno Mum.”

French Onion Soup

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“Hey LB, how was cookery today?”
“Good Mum.”
“What did you cook?”
“French onion soup Mum.”
“Wow! How did you make that?”
“With onions Mum.”
“Ok, onions. What else?”
“Just onions Mum.”
“What else? There must have been some other ingredients.”
“No Mum.Just onions.”
“So you got the onions. Then what did you do?”
“Made soup Mum.”
“No, you’ve missed out something. What else did you do?”
“Ate it Mum.”

Saturday morning

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“Morning LB! How you doing?”
“Good Mum. Very good, Mum.”
“Cool. What did you do last night when I was out?”
“Went to bed Mum. I was tired Mum. I was sooo knackered Mum.”
“Wow! What time was that?”
“9.30 Mum.”
“Did you sleep OK?”
“Yes Mum. After all the girls left.”
“The girls, eh? That’s good. What do you want to do today?”
“Bit of youtube Mum. Bit of DJing.”
“What would you have done before youtube was invented I wonder…”
“Why Mum?”
“Well youtube’s only been around for about five years.”
“Dunno Mum. Be sociable Mum. Talk to people Mum.”
“What sort of people?”
“You Mum. Is Stan fat Mum?”