Sticking my toe back in the holiday thread. So many memories. Sigh.

Richy Rich regularly took a selection of the kids camping.  One time he had three of ’em, aged 6, 4 and 1.5.  On the Sunday, he took them to the beach at Highcliffe, near Bournemouth. They walked down the cliff path to the beach, dumped their stuff and ran into the sea. Instantly a big wave knocked Richy’s glasses off and swept them away.

Now Richy is like Vincent van Gopher without his glasses.  He can’t see squit-diddly.  This is not a good situation to be in with teeny tiny kids in the sea.

I was at home at the kitchen table working when I got the call.

“I’ve lost my glasses in the sea!”

“WHATTTTTT?”

“A wave knocked my glasses off. I can’t see a thing!”.

“FUCKINGHELLYOUAREJOKINGMERIGHT?”

“No, I got the kids out of the water but we’re in a huddle on the beach. I think you’ll have to come down and collect us…”

Er.  Right.  Hometowny to Highcliffe beach, by public transport, on a Sunday.  It had to be at least 4 hours travel.  And what would the four of them do in the meantime?  Huddling on a beach was quickly going to become unworkable.  After a bit more discussion about trying to find the glasses (“wheredego? wheredego?”) Richy decided to edge the huddle  back up the cliff path, to see (ha ha ha) if he had any contact lenses in the car.  In the meantime, I started to check out the train times.

Twenty five minutes he called me back.  He’d found one lens.  He thought if he drove slowly and kept one eye covered, he’d be ok.  I put the kettle on.