Another week in which the stress and pressure generated by the actions of the Trust has been almost unbearable. I don’t have words to describe what this experience feels like. I say ‘almost unbearable’ because the only other step is ‘unbearable’ and then what is there?

As I’ve said repeatedly for what seems like forever now, the death of a child is any parent’s worse nightmare. To then have to deal with the appalling, pretty much inhumane system that kicks into touch when this happens, unexpectedly, in an NHS setting, is beyond words. I’m at the stage that any update on the latest development in the twisting, turning, shifting, contradictory process makes me cry. Simple as. Very classy.

So fuck off Trust (legal team and whoever else is fuelling this horrible, nasty, destructive and completely unnecessarily designed process) for a few moments. And let me focus on the precious moments. Team LB. What can I say? A group of people who are dedicated, passionate, experienced and committed, bringing a shedload of expertise, networks, ideas and action. In the background, INQUEST.org. A remarkable organisation. Unobtrusive, non-intrusive and quietly and efficiently effective. A perfect mix for the recently shell-shocked.

And then an army of family, friends, colleagues and people we don’t know. Offering thoughts, good wishes, love, kindness, support, space to grieve, momentary havens from hell, cakes sales and accessory swaps. Random moments of beyond kindness. People raging with us, moved by the death of our beautiful, funny dude who was goodness itself.

Preciousness we never really knew existed.